Type your search keyword, and press enter

Think Happy Thoughts

I Choose …

We all have to make choices, and what we choose affects us and those around us. Years ago I made a choice and I was happy with that choice, this year I realised how my happiness had melted away and that I had to make another choice. A really difficult one. Now I am living with the consequences of that choice, and I am scared a little, yet I am also excited and feel very liberated. For the first time in over 25 years I am going to be solely responsible for myself, plus (during term time) not responsible for anyone else.

So for now I am going to be choosing me. It doesn’t really come easily to be kinda selfish like that but I think I am allowed – for a little while.

One of the things I am excited about is arranging the house how I want it. That means the front room is being used as a relax & TV room. The back room is now a dining room again and will also house all my books (yay for my library), a comfy reading chair, plus any geeky items I have for the walls and shelves. I’m planning on a breakfast bar in the kitchen too, something I have always wanted. It’s currently a work in progress, a bit each day, but I will finally be able to have people round – gaming nights anyone?

Swing, Roundabouts, Mixed Feelings

swingSo the email came yesterday, I was not chosen for the funded PhD scholarship. They were kind enough to tell me that it was a close competition and that my idea had merit so if I could self-fund they’d find me a supervisor … so any of my friends got a couple of grand lying spare :-) If I could find the money I’d work every hour to attain my dream.

Then, after the utter despair there came a small upswing – VVV rang and offered me the part-time job I’d applied for. It’s a friendly environment and the hours are flexible, which is great for me to carry on running my own business.

I’m still aiming for a PhD – this is not the end of my ambition, just a bend in the road. Meanwhile I’ll keep enjoying the swings of life.

Let Me Find Patience

I feel as though I am Alice, tumbling down the rabbit hole and never reaching the bottom. Suspended, yet moving.

From the Disney movie Alice in Wonderland

Life does move on, always, at least until that last exhale when others go on without you. I am (I hope) nowhere near that last exhale but I wish that my life would resolve into something more than me still while everything rushes around me. I am waiting …

Waiting for responses to applications is bad enough; when my circumstances cannot move on without knowing those responses wears me down a little more each night so I wake with less sanity and hope for what I want (need) disappears into darkness like Dinah peering over the edge of the rabbit hole.

So I am asking for a little patience to be granted to me, or an answer. Please.

Sausage & Roast Veg Omelette Thing

Using leftovers from the BBQ we had yesterday.

  • Sliced the already cooked sausages and heated them through in the frying pan.
  • Added the roast veg I didn’t have yesterday and heated a bit more.
  • Added three eggs and stirred around til mostly cooked
  • Put leftover grated cheese on the top and put under the grill to finish cooking

BBQ Virgin No Longer

I did my first ever solo BBQ today. Sure we’ve had BBQs before but I wasn’t solely in charge of the FIRE. Oh boy,what fun it was.

Things to remember for next time …

-BBQs take aaaggeesss to get going and up to temperature so start earlier than you think.

-I’ve never used a kettle BBQ before so had to Google a few things, I now know to leave the air vents open all the time while cooking :-)

-A sausage roller thingy is a good idea but only for hot dogs, proper sausages don’t cook very well on it.

-There’s a hell of a lot of smoke.

Here’s to many more BBQs this summer and for years to come.