Practising Living

Next year will see a big change in my life; my youngest will set off for university in September 2015, my eldest goes this September. That will mark the end of twenty years of my life being a hands on mother. Yes, I’ll still be their mum (doh) but they will both be off in the world living their own lives, marking their own paths. As it should be. So, in preparation, I am beginning to take time out from being ‘mum’ and discovering what I want to do with my life. I recently made a decision that I wanted to be location-free with my work as much as possible – hence the lovely new laptop – and I am slowly testing those waters. There’ll be a big test later this year when I go on my “Southern Tour” visiting friends I rarely...

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Pills update

So, the main side effects of taking propranolol seem to have worn off thankfully. However, I have noticed one lingering (and getting worse it feels) so I googled it. Anyone who knows me has heard me complain about insomnia, I have had difficulty sleeping for years off and on. It seems propranolol reduces the production of melatonin which your body needs for sleep – so guess what, my insomia has been terrible this last week or so. I have some melatonin tablets that my friend gave me so I am going to try them tonight to see if I can get a better night of sleep. Wish me luck.

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I need a pointy stick…

I seem to have lost focus recently. I have ideas but can’t pin them down to concrete plans. I want to read but always find an excuse not to. I need to do stuff but ignore them. I was doing well until a couple of weeks ago, it seems that being ill for a week has knocked my impetus to the ground and stomped on it. Send someone with a pointy stick to prod me into action. Hawkeye would be nice if he’s available.

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A Little Meltdown

I had to go to a networking meeting this morning. I wasn’t particularly looking forward to it but I was OK about going. I arrived only to be told the meeting was on the second floor and then presented with metal stairs with gaps between the steps. Being scared of heights I find these types of stairs quite upsetting, even though intellectually I know I cannot slip between the gaps. I made it up the first flight but then made the mistake of stopping and looking up. I ended up feeling quite dizzy, in fact I was more or less in tears because I knew I needed to get up the stairs but felt sick at the thought of it. A few minutes trying to compose myself and I tried again. This time I made it, very nervously and clinging on to the hand rail but I did make it. Score...

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Pills – 1 week in

It’s been a bit of a rough week. I’ve been busy with work but the side effects of the propranolol have been making me feel pretty crappy. Mostly fatigue, so so tired, but also disturbed sleep with vivid dreams – yeah, go figure those two effects together. After a couple of days I also began to get queasy whenever I ate. Not sick as such but my stomach would hurt and grumble and gurgle. In the end I was mainly on protein shakes and coffee with water – on the plus side I lost a couple of pounds. So, I’m still feeling a little off but I think it’s getting better – says a couple of weeks for the side effects to settle down. However, the pills are doing what they’re supposed to and my tremors are definitely a lot better....

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