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Think Happy Thoughts

Don’t Use Religion as an Excuse

I have had enough.

Everywhere I see people (usually men) using their religious beliefs to keep women in their place. It’s disgusting, it’s discriminatory, and it’s despicable.

I’ve just listened to a call-in on BBC Radio Oxford (because it’s International Women’s Day and my amazing friend Manon was one of the speakers). She and another woman got about a third of the air time, if that. The rest was men – in particular a man, who said we should not go to other countries and stand up for the rights of women there because ‘religion’.


If religion is keeping women from education, if religion is enabling men to be abusive to their wives, if religion is treating women – you know HUMANS – as second or even third=class citizens, then it needs to be addressed.

And bear in mind, often it’s a patriarchal mindset interpreting their reigious texts their way. Letting go of the things that don’t suit them and insisting on the ones which keep women ‘in their place’.

Just because ‘religion’ does not make it right and does not mean it has to continue. You are using what should be an enlightening and uplifting experience to make women miserable because you are afraid of what will happen if you give women power, especially power over their own bodies and future.

Afraid that with educated women your community will improve and grow and become strong.

Afraid that women with power over their fertility will mean healthier children born at the right time for the mother and the child.

Afraid that women have natural bodily functions which you don’t and therefore must be ‘unclean’.

Stop being so bloody afraid, stop using ‘religion’ as an excuse, stop allowing others to carry on their control over women just because it’s the way it’s always been. Progress is not a dirty word.

A Little More Conversation

It’s been there, niggling at the recesses of my mind, there’s been something missing – and it’s been missing for a long time.


And I’m not talking small talk, and I’m not meaning discussions of various (and awesome) geeky movies/tv shows. Although the second is fun and I won’t turn it down if it’s available.

I am talking A-class, far-reaching, wandering through ideas and philosophies, exploring every aspect of whatever topic interests us kinda conversations. Ones that stretch my mind, test the limits of my imagination, explode my consciousness into sparkles of new thoughts and ways of thinking.

I’m craving this like an addict. I feel my brain is calcifying.

I want this in my partner. I want to find someone I can have no-holds-barred “plumb the depths of our being and soar through the magic of our imagination” discussions with.

I want someone I can snuggle on the sofa while we allow our thoughts to roam free.

I want to have discussions of politics and equality over dinner, and then argue the merits of Star Trek and Star Wars over dessert.

I want conversation. Please.

New Year, New You – Oh FFS

All these ‘new year, ‘new you’ posts and messages and oh ffs please for the love of Whedon stop it.

We humans do like to have our little rituals and beliefs – after all, that’s how religion started isn’t it? Something for people to believe in to explain what was unexplainable. But it is an arbitary day, today the sun rose and set just as it has for millennia before, yet we attach so much significance to it even though the first day of our yearly calendar used to be an entirely different date not so long ago.

The thing is, we can view our days in different ways (yay, I made a rhyme). This is how I am observing my diurnal rhythms.

Each morning when we wake up is a chance to be renewed, a chance to begin again, an opportunity to be the person we yearn to be in those moments of stark truthfulness in the dead of night.

Each minute of each day is a chance to start over, a chance to reset, a chance to be better than we were before.

You see we always have the capacity to start again. Whether it’s a large do-over or a miniscule one we all have that second, third, or 101010 chance to change.

So I say don’t wait for a date, do it now. Make the change, do ‘the thing’, tell someone you love them, walk away, decide to be amazing.


2016 – did it suck or did it ?

where I need to be

This time last year I was devastated and lost and hopeful.

This time last year I was dreaming where I would be now.

This time last year I had faith.

2016 was not the year I asked for. I didn’t ask for worsening depression, for weight gain (thanks medication), for financial turmoil. I sure wasn’t looking for loneliness and loss. I wasn’t planning on shedding so many tears, on missing so many important events, on hating myself so much.

But this quote (pictured above) jumped out at me the other day. Perhaps 2016 wasn’t the year I wanted, but maybe it was the year that I needed.

The year I needed to understand myself better.

The year I needed to grow in strength.

The year I needed to learn how to ask for help.

So, while I still have a ways to walk, I now have the strength, understanding, and help to get me to where I am needed in the future. I know where I want to be this time next year (and am going to my utmost to get there) but I am also open to the universe showing me a different path if that’s where I am needed.

Much love to everyone on their path to where they are needed xoxo

A Month Flies But My Spirit Hasn’t (Yet)

This blog is “think happy thoughts” unfortunately a lot of the last month they haven’t been. Finances, business, confidence have all conspired against me.

I will not be beaten.

Saturday night was so lonely and I was in a very bad place for a while, but I journalled it out and Sunday morning saw me in a better frame of mind. I am grateful for a home, friends, my con family, coffee 🙂

So, on Pi Day (or Steak & Blowjob Day whichever you celebrate) let me find a happier place to be and to go.

Oh, and I am thankful for a very hunky guy who thinks I’m sexy.